July 11th – Kildare Results

The results for the Wednesday Kildare Group at Gainey Ranch are certainly interesting especially when considering that Dennis Kildare wasn’t there and the match didn’t take place at Gainey Ranch. In fact, there were golfers present that weren’t even there when it came to “settle-up” time. Twosomes became threesomes.  Foursomes went to twosomes. One putts became three putts. Things were more than strange. It could have been the heat, the humidity, sunspots, global climate change or quite conceivably, the effect of the cart girl coming over the ridge with the sun squarely behind her.

Grayhawk is by many standards a fine golf course. The greens may have been very fast, but at least they were impossible to putt in the first place. In mathematics there are equations that actually have no solutions. I’m confident at Grayhawk, there are holes where it is physically impossible to insert a golf ball unless you approach it from another dimension. Scientists have spent all that time searching for the Higgs Boson? Big deal. They should have just looked in the cup on 17 at Greyhawk.

Low Gross for the day went to Matt Anzalone with a 78. He’s a “plus one” handicap. Grayhawk showed no mercy to anyone.

Low Gross

  1. Matt Anzalone – 78
  2. Joel Temple – 80
  3. Dave Kopp – 81

Low Net

  1. Jim Stamatis – 70
  2. Mike Tope – 71
  3. Joel Temple – 73

Dan Hourihan and Marty Howe teed off on #1 and were never seen again. Coyotes may have dragged them into the bushes. They may have disappeared when they came into close contact with a Higgs Boson on #17. Or conceivably, their disappearance had something to do with the cart girl appearing on the ridge on #12 as the sun was setting behind her.

Author: h. Alton Jones


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