The Commish Goes Low – Very Low

Commission Kildare shoots a record round
Commission Kildare shoots a record round

Dennis Kildare walked into our record book on Wednesday, August 28th. In the nearly four thousand rounds we’ve tracked, only three golfers involved with our group have broken the net 60 barrier. George Stelmach was the first to shoot net 60 with a gross 74 on October 17, 2012. Sir Laurence Rosen smashed that record on April 24th of this year when he carded a gross 74 for a net 58. On June 21st, Raoul Encinas tied the record. Yesterday, Dennis Kildare became the third person to record a net 58 when he shot 37/37 on the Lakes/Dunes courses. He used two birdies to neutralize two of his four bogeys and added twelve pars to the card en route to a great finish.

Some are wondering if he’s human and if so, does he spend much time with Alex Rodriguez or Barry Bonds? Does he hang with Mark McGuire? Is he chummy with Lance Armstrong? Consider these facts.

Less than five percent of all golfers EVER break 80. Less than two percent of all golfers EVER break 75. Dennis not only shot his age, he shot the age of a few other guys that are many years younger. I’m in my third year of golf at Gainey Ranch and in my last 134 rounds, my lowest net score has been 64, six huge strokes higher than 58. The calculated odds of a 16 handicapper turning in a 74 are 4,240 to 1.

We know that Dennis is the bionic man with more artificial organs and man-made joints than a 70’s rock band. Should his performance have an asterisk by it? No, probably not. He just had a great day. Congratulations. It couldn’t have happened to a more deserving guy (well, except maybe me).

Meanwhile, back amongst the mortals, there were a couple dozen other guys competing yesterday. The Inferno Cup race continues to intensify. The team of Bryan Noonan, Howard Jones, Gary Graham and Jim “Woodsy” Woods carried the day edging out the team of Jason Sample, Dennis Kildare, Tom Hansen and the blind dude (who was sitting in for the AWOL Marty Howe). The win moved Woodsy from third into second place only ten points behind the leader, Jim Stamatis. With nine Inferno Cup matches remaining, it’s looking like a hellava finish is on the horizon.

There were nine skins winners Wednesday. Jim Stamatis claimed a pair. Dave Inman, Steve Danovic, Dennis Kildare, Gary Graham, Steve King, Bryan Noonan and Mike Nichols all left the building with one each.

Low Gross

  1. Bryan Noonan – 72
  2. Dennis Kildare and Dave Inman – 74

Low Net

  1. Dennis Kildare – 58
  2. Howard Jones – 64
  3. Jim Woods – 66

Golfers appeared to be pretty focused with the average gross score recorded at 83.8. There were 23 birdies carded on the day, 60% of those coming on the Dunes course. The Lakes course was a stroke and a quarter stingier than the Dunes nine.

Author: h. Alton Jones


3 thoughts on “The Commish Goes Low – Very Low”

  1. As I suspect you know, I spent many years in the news media (reporter, broadcaster, etc.) before going back to school to study rocket science. Although my colleagues and I were completely fair and objective (where have I heard this before?) at all times, I will confirm the suspicions of many by saying that when we didn’t like the person, we usually selected a very unflattering photo. If we liked the person, it was usually a pretty good shot. There are a few people (like you and me) who are just so pretty, you can’t take a bad shot.


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