Rosen Raids the Ranch

RosenRedCoatApril 2nd found Gainey Ranch’s golfers wielding some hot sticks despite the slightly cool weather. Conditions were so brutal that some golfers actually put on sweaters – at least briefly. I’m not sure what the final tally was in the frostbite department, but at least no one froze to death as temperatures dipped into the low 70s.

Doug Lammle built his own fire by carding net 62, a nearly 500-to-1 odds round of golf. With twelve pars, four bogeys and two don’t-ask-don’t-tell holes, he scorched the field in the net division. Five golfers fell only two strokes back with net 64s. It looks like the Handicap Committee will be working overtime on this group. Four strikers turned in gross 79s to share low gross honors on the day. One of them, Sandy Wiener, finished birdie-birdie to cheat me out of my rightful Nassau prize money. It is well known that Sandy grew up in New Orleans and regularly uses forms of Voodoo on the golf course. Surely, there’s something in the rule book about casting spells while a ball is in motion. My second shot on #18 was as straight as a string and absolutely dead on the stick, yet it landed on the edge of the green and mysteriously kicked to the right and into the lake. It seems the term “dead on the stick” has a completely different meaning when playing a New Orleans native.

The real marauder of Men’s Day #19 was Laurence Rosen. He turned in a gross 85 which when adjusted for his handicap didn’t even get him into the top ten in the net department. And yet, he left the house with most of the money. His team finished third in the Men’s Day race, second in the Kildare competition and he somehow managed to claim six skins (not a misprint – six). He walked out the door with roughly $300!!! Where the hell was Paul Revere when we needed him?

Here’s the complete Men’s Day Money List for the season. Rosen made his move. Guard your money, the women and children and keep your doors locked at night.

Low Net

  1. Doug Lammle – 62
  2. Ron Dobkin, Buddy Stein, Dale Folstad, Eric Macnaughton and Darryl Johnson -64

Low Gross

  1. Sandy Wiener, Mike Nichols, Bob Kenkel and Tom Holcombe – 79

Sixty-nine golfers averaged just over 90 on the Arroyo/Lakes course. The tract gave up one eagle (Jay Yourk – #4 Arroyo) and thirty-five birdies. The title of stingiest hole on the course was shared between the usual (#7 Lakes) and #9 Arroyo. Both averaged 1.4 strokes over par.

Author: h. Alton Jones


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