Menopause and the Inferno Cup

bitchForgive me. I just can’t help myself. Some metaphors are just begging to be used. I realize I may have lost some of our younger golfers (you’ll figure it out soon enough), but those of us playing in the fall of our careers will understand the metaphor better than others. Today’s Inferno Cup round was a test of patience. The course is going through “the change”. As it’s browning up and drying up, it’s toughening up. It no longer listens to our commands. Never mind that there are brown areas in the fairways that give pause to he who tries to pick the ball clean, there are bigger problems once (if ever) someone reaches the green (speaking of metaphors). It’s the time of year when the grasses are “transitioning”. As we await the start of the summer monsoons, the greens are more than a bit patchy, dry and bumpy. Frankly, they’re a real bitch. Strike a five-foot putt, sit back and try and predict the results. The ball moves left, then right, right again, a bump or two later it arrives at hole’s edge only to be deflected by the pouting mouth of a fickle and unpredictable target. It’s no fault of the green’s keeper or the ground crew; it’s just nature. Live with it. Most of us will survive. But for the time being, go ahead – pretend you’re in control. Enjoy your own “personal summer”. The course is a real bitch right now.

Dale Fitzhenry
Dale Fitzhenry

Despite our challenges, some golfers managed the course well enough to turn in some respectable rounds. Jason Sample carded a 75 to garner low gross honors. As the father of a new-born, he’s dealing with his own challenges, but apparently dealing with them well.

Low Gross

  1. Jason Sample – 75
  2. Kris Rosser – 77
  3. Mark Ramser – 80

Dale Fitzhenry was having his own heat wave and took low net honors with a 65. Dennis Kildare and Jason Sample were hot on his heels.

Low Net

  1. Dale Fitzhenry – 65
  2. Dennis Kildare and Jason Sample – 66

In the race for the Inferno Cup, George Stelmach and Mark Ramser both made big moves toward the top. Tom Hansen, Pat Collins and Heard Broadrick all made lunges toward the top. Stelmach, Ramser and Hansen were teammates and took first place in the team game. They won by four strokes; all other teams were within two strokes from top to bottom. A great competitive match.

OK boys. We got through that one. We’re alive, sitting up and taking nourishment and looking forward to the next round. It’s getting crowded at the top. My advice . . . let the greens do what they want with your balls. Once we get through a couple of big storms, life will be good again.

Author: h. Alton Jones

writer/scientist/adventurer

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