B’nai Mitzvah and Golf’s Moral Dilemmas

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Dr. John Raines ran away from the field

Alright – Let’s not kid around. It was an odd round of golf. Someone had rented the Lakeview Lodge building for a Bar Mitzvah. Apparently the proud father included a round of golf for a dozen or so young men who were in attendance. All would have been well had not these young men been in front of our group on the course. Most of them were horrible golfers and even if they could have found their errant shots, they would have taken forever to get around the eighteen hole course. One man was so bad, he hit his tee shot into the backyard of a house fronting the course. In of itself, that’s not that big a deal; I’ve done it myself. However, in this case, the house was immediately adjacent to the tee box. These guys were so bad, the validity of the Bar Mitzvah itself was in jeopardy. They’re supposed to begin when a Jewish boy reaches the age of accountability, thirteen. However, they’re supposed to end while the boy is still thirteen. There were times we wondered if the celebration was going to turn into his fourteenth birthday party. After nearly five hours, we finally finished the round.

I say “finished the round”, but that’s not entirely true. Bill Yarbrough had to leave after seventeen holes in order to make a dinner engagement. That leads me to the “moral dilemma”. Bill left his twenty dollar entry fee as he departed the course, but somehow, it just doesn’t seem right that I accept the fee. After all, he was deprived of the joy of playing the full five hour round and finishing in the near darkness. Don’t you agree that I should return his twenty dollars to him? Never mind the fact that his team prevailed and captured $160 in first place money. Pay no heed to the fact that Dr. Yarbrough also won thirty dollars’ worth of skins. What’s right is right. I’ll return his twenty dollars the next time I see him. I’ll take it out of the seventy dollars I have in my pocket.

Meanwhile, back on the golf course … The team of Dr. Jack Summers, Dr. Bill Yarbrough, Dr. John Raines and Dr. Marshall Block apparently healed themselves and beat the second place team by eleven strokes. No hard feelings there (I was on the second place team).

No doubt in large part due to the interminably slow play, few golfers performed well. With but one exception, no one shot his handicap. However, John Raines clearly didn’t get the memo. He finished his round with a bogey and still shot six strokes below his handicap with a gross 77.

Low Gross

  1. 77 – John Raines
  2. 80 – Jack Summers
  3. 81 – Tom Postorino

Low Net

  1. 64 – John Raines
  2. 68 – Mike Forde
  3. 72 – Pat Collins

The course played tough with the average scores falling more than seven strokes over handicap. Of the birdies that were cards, nearly half of them fell on either the seventh or thirteenth holes. There were no birdies on the eighteenth hole and only five pars. I’m sure that had nothing to do with the fact that the photographer working the Bar Mitzvah kept running out onto the eighteenth green trying to take pictures while members of our group had the audacity to try to play the hole.

Enjoy a few photos of the competitors.

Author: h. Alton Jones

writer/scientist/adventurer

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