Slow Play – The Solution

SlowGolfThose of you that have weighed in on the conundrum of slow play will be pleased to know we’ve settled on the recommended solution. It’s a hybrid of one of the survey choices and a proposal submitted by one of our more creative golfers. This innovative solution is the synergistic product of the collective mind of our golf group not unlike the “invisible hand” of Adam Smith’s capitalism. As you’ll see, it’s also rather Darwinist in both its application and effect.

Survey responses were nearly evenly divided between assessing penalty strokes to the offending group’s players and creating a public rating system for golfer’s pace-of-play history. I have invested a significant amount of time creating a computer generated “Pace-of-Play Ranking” system. Rankings will periodically be posted to the “Match Sign-Ups” page. I’ll be happy to share the mathematics behind the rankings upon request, but suffice it to say, they will become more accurate as system familiarity increases.

The chosen solution to the slow play problem is to use the rankings to choose the players that will be put in the lead groups. The players in the group behind them will be obligated to hit into them whenever there is an open hole in front of the lead group. Golfers in the lead group will be obligated to wear clothing color-coded to reflect their standings in the ranking system. “Slow” players must wear yellow while “very slow” players will wear “red”. “Extremely slow” players will wear black.

Players in the following group will get points for actually hitting the designated slow players. Points awarded will be higher for striking the players wearing darker colors. The points then may be used to discard the number of holes on their scorecards corresponding to the number of points earned.

The feeling is that this will provide slow golfers an incentive to pick up the pace in order to survive. This will be known as the “Adam Smith Effect”. It will also make the overall golf group collectively faster as the slower golfers are culled from the herd. This shall be known as the “Darwin Effect”.

You may see some of our slower golfers wearing helmets rather than traditional golf hats. You may also see them hitting the ball and moving faster.

I’d like to thank David Allen for his work on bringing this excellent free-market solution to the fore. I’d also like to thank all of you for playing faster, limiting your search times (when you’re not pushing the group in front of you) to the 2019 Rules mandate of three minutes.

I’d also like to thank everyone for chanting the mantra … “Just hit the damn ball”.

Author: h. Alton Jones

writer/scientist/adventurer

One thought on “Slow Play – The Solution”

  1. I LOVE it!!! Homerun Howard!! Send this to the USGA and PGA…they may institute it.

    On Mon, Feb 4, 2019 at 4:49 PM Scottsdale Golfer News wrote:

    > h. Alton Jones posted: “Those of you that have weighed in on the conundrum > of slow play will be pleased to know we’ve settled on the recommended > solution. It’s a hybrid of one of the survey choices and a proposal > submitted by one of our more creative golfers. This innovative sol” >

    Like

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